the one

For me,blog is a place where I can spend quality time to know more about myself.How?simple.Only while writing I can understand what i am, as this makes me think in different,incoherent,lateral,inconcurrent as many ways as I can,which I seldom do.This space is more about expressing myself.

November 07, 2006

the road

I was in conflict with my self on what should be next article in my blog. I gave a hard thought about it. My Grey cells were fussy thinking about it, while on drive, eating, conversing and of course even in the "office". Now anybody on earth would start thinking about those double quotes that I used on the word office. If you already guessed the idea of this post, no points, just congratulations from me! Well it is been around ten good(trying to be skeptical) months that I entered into information technology field and my experience has been very, what I should say......twisty, tricky, Topsy - turvy, testing, throwing and what not. So just zeroed on this issue for this post(one of my friends also suggested that it would be a good idea to drop a line on this not so enthralling field, as it is normally perceived by "outsiders").

When I was pursuing my B.Tech, one of my regular past times was to skim through all business channels and magazines for financial results of IT companies. Those BIG numbers were really fascinating, even when I never really understood the business sense behind those numbers. All news channels used to dedicate there prime time for financial results of top IT companies. One of my habitué used to be imagining myself working for one of these IT behemoths and the craze and buzz that would surround me in my family circles. After going through initial hiccups, I found my way struggling to the largest software services companies in Asia. My very first experience was more imaginative than everything else that followed it. It was like me standing in front of a huge entrance gate with an entire world behind those gates with my mind thinking about conspicuous and so obvious events that might unfold in the future.

Now my first task was to know what IT really means( that is what I told in my interview, that I would know(in my first few days as I was a fresher) what exactly IT is all about and what's my role in this so on and so forth, in the initial days being a fresher). The very first day experience was nothing different for me. We met the department which allocates human resources and was told that we will be placed in some project soon. Now, what is allocation? This is what one of the dictionaries says: The act of distributing by allotting or apportioning; distribution according to a plan. But it never looked anything like that or was perceived by me. Was it only me who is thinking like this or do I have a company. I could get that later. I am not alone. Entire act of allocation was like some childhood game trying to be made popular by these IT people. It was a big crude joke to sound less harsh. It could even instigate a quarrel among our friends. Was it the associates who allocate themselves or is it this so called MATC. Only HR people can explain that, I suppose. As was defined in the dictionary it was never for a PURPOSE, I conclude, at least in my case.


We people always think what these companies are doing with so many people. Was it some political party membership enrollment drive or is there real requirement behind this idea. General explanation given is to show clients the strength of human resource, promised to be allocated if the deal is struck. Sorry, I could not stop laughing. How many people will you show to your CLIENTS? So what are we supposed to do till then. Bite our nails and if we start bleeding proceed doing so with our colleague's. Yes, I know this is a learning experience and part of life. Well we could utilize such free time to learn lot of technologies when we do not know where and when we will be put and which project. Nobody is bothered to know about the interests of the associate.Alright, freshers are supposed to be flexible. Now what on earth does this flexibility supposed to mean. That one can test the patience until he/she breaks. We were already very rusty with paid holidays and unpaid holidays after selection. Oh god what am I doing. I just cannot stop feeling idiotic. Now I started to think about my ratings. What are they?

I am still googling that. he he he.sounds crazy and sadistic. Sorry cannot feel anything better than that. How can one be rated when there are no specific reasonable parameters and if that dose not holds any relevance. Of course I know I am big loser. But still nothing is helping me to be a winner except TT (even there I am not consistent). So what am I supposed to or expected to do. Bingo. Go for certifications which are obviously not designed for morons like me. But still if you want to see your self having good time with your friends in coffee breaks, particularly when talking about ratings, better make it through one of those certifications. If I cannot do that also, I thought of a solution. Nothing great. I just have to wait for the time to turn at me with a shining smile instead of tittering, which it is doing now.


I normally have good time at the sports room all these weeks. Now how many weeks more? I don’t think it makes any sense anymore. I am starting to imagine where I would land up. he he he. It is so funny. During my interview I was asked, like everyone, where would I imagine myself in next 5 years. I am not particularly sure about five years, but pretty sure where I will be in 1 year time from the date I entered. Should I blame my self for letting things turn this way or is it the people who made decisions or is it the system as a whole. I do not know and do not want to find the truth also. Because it would naturally make me feel bad about all this. But fact of the matter is, I would either become a chosen one or a fool, as perceived by some, depends solely on the path chosen by me. Hope I do not turn out to be a good example for a bad software engineer. Well, it is time to pump up things dude. Time is running out.